


Isn't Always So

by goblin



Category: Askewniverse
Genre: Angst, Comedy, Gen, M/M, Mostly Dialogue, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-01-06
Updated: 2002-01-06
Packaged: 2017-12-03 23:34:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/703920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goblin/pseuds/goblin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What's in Bob's pockets?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Isn't Always So

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: Kev owns my mind, ren owns my body, and Kel owns my soul.  
> No, seriously, the boys aren't mine, I'm doing this without permission, I'm evil evil evil somebody stop me, oh the guilt. Damn. That wasn't serious at all. Ahhh, who gives a fuck. It's nearly 2 in the morning and I can't write a normal disclaimer right now, so, Idon'tcare.
> 
> THANKS: to gracelessone for beta-ing - and helping me with the title.

"Mother _fuck_. Empty."

"..."

"You got another pack?"

(shaking head) "..."

"You gonna go out and get me one?"

(sarcastically) "..."

"Come *on*, Lunchbox, I'm stuck to the fucking couch with sweat, I fuckin' hate summer, I'm more sensitive to heat than you."

(raises eyebrow) "?"

"I am! Lookit me, I'm sittin' here with my shirt off an' I'm *still* sweating like a pig. You've got your fuckin' trench on and you don't even look hot. Much."

(frowns) "...?"

"Well come on! Take your fuckin' coat off and go get us a coupla new decks before I go into nicotine withdrawal."

(rolls eyes) "..."

"Hey, wait up - gimme that coat."

"???"

"You'll die of fuckin' heat exhaustion, or dehydration, or, or somethin'. Gimme."

(shrugs, allowing Jay to take the coat) "..."   
(leaves)

The fat fuck has left the building. At fuckin' last the bitch is outta my hair. Now I can do what I been waitin' to do for fuckin' weeks, I swear he can barely go someplace without me to hold his fuckin' hand, oh, are you okay, Silent Bob? Do you need someone to talk at you, Silent Bob? Would you die if you left me alone for two fucking minutes?

Bitch. 

Awwright. Siddown on the couch, get a bit comfortable, and start turning all Bob's pockets inside out to see exactly what it is he keeps in there.

Tissues... a screwdriver... mints... Fuck, where's all the juicy stuff? Where's the vibrators and Playgirl and shit? 

Where's the damn blow-up doll I seen him whip out a few times? Guess he doesn't carry it 'round with him 24/7. It's not like he needs Plastic Girl with him at all times so's he has somethin' to fuck when he's all pent up, I mean, hey, if he was that fucking desperate, I'd go down on him. Nooch.

Hang on, this is just the outside pockets. Let's look in the inside.

Computer parts... a book - "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius", what is this shit? ... A photo - 

Fuck. 

A photo of me.

We don't have, like, a photo album or anything. Far as I know Bob don't even own a camera, and I sure as fuck don't. It looks like it was taken at a party 'cos there's a whole bunch of people half in the shot... but I'm right in the middle, with a big goofy smile for the camera, or for whoever was taking the photo, I guess. Bob must've got a copy off the chick who took the picture... I think a chick took it, anyways. I don't remember.

That's fucking weird. Why would he go to so much trouble, just to get a picture of me? Why would he carry it 'round with him? I mean, he's lookin' at me all fuckin' day anyway, he's got the real thing, why's he need a fuckin' photo? 

I never even had a girlfriend who carried a photo of me around. And this crazy motherfucker's got one in his inside pocket. 

"Why are you looking inside my coat?"

Oh FUCK.

Bob's back. 

So I panic, and answer back angrily. "Why the fuck d'you have a photo of me in your coat pocket?"

(shrugs) "..."

"Don't pull that on me now, you silent bitch. Why?"

(walks towards his room) "..."

(chases after him) "Mother _fuck_ , WHY??"

(whirls around )   
(in Jay's face) "So that every time you say something or do something to hurt me, I know that in my pocket is proof that it isn't always so."  
(grabs coat from Jay's limp hands)  
(replaces it with three packs of cigarettes)  
(walks angrily into his room)

(drops cigarette packs to the floor)  
"...fuck..."  
(tears begin)

 

~end~


End file.
